Memory Lane
Triggers, we all have them. Maybe it’s a song that radio D.J.s wore out during the beginning stages of your first romance, or smells that retrieve memories of family dinners. Places, sounds, tastes, anything we can receive with our external and internal senses can bring us back to relationships, celebrations, and traumas, and all of the emotions that went with them. I’m not sure if it’s my age or my stage, but I’m noticing a lot of that kind of triggering lately. My trigger today was the book of Job.
I remember the first time I read through that book. My family hosted a neighborhood bible study pastored by a Southern Baptist preacher in our living room. I viewed God as a harsh task-master who was never really pleased with us, but because of his perfection in all things including mercy, He endured us woeful sinners through the gritting of His teeth. I hated the book of Job. It was a reminder of the thing God might decide to do to me should his patience run out and the bell ring for Justice to take his turn. 45 years later, after having been in and out of the book multiple times, I still had to take a deep breath this morning when I realized this was the next book in my rotation. I still don’t entirely know what to do with the book of Job, but my understanding of God’s character has changed substantially enough since those early days that I am able to take that deep breath and encourage myself with these thoughts. He’s entirely good. He’s entirely trustworthy. Take the cup you have with Thanksgiving because He is doing something amazingly profound and worth-it in your life thru this tough thing you are enduring.
So, my life and my learning is more like a gathering of little seeds and treasures than it is a well formed, manicured garden. As much as I’d like it to be more complete and presentable, here are the little tidbits that came to me today as I sat with the first 2 chapters of Job.
1) I’m struck by the impact my view of God has on the way I receive input. “What comes into our mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us” is the opening statement from A. W. Tozer’s classic book, The Knowledge of the Holy. Tozer explains that our view of God—what we believe God is like in the deep recesses of our being—shapes the whole course of our lives. If that’s so, then it shouldn’t surprise me that the book of Job elicits entirely different emotions for me today than it did 45 years ago.
2) Even Satan recognizes that God’s heart is to place a hedge of protection around His children and bless them financially, spiritually, & emotionally. Now that I believe that about Him, I keep seeing it everywhere, strangely, even in the book of Job.
3) I’m no Job, but I was warmed in my heart today as I studied his initial response when everything dear to him was crushed and destroyed. He grieved and He worshiped. He didn’t sin. He didn’t blame God. I was warmed in part because I know God deserves it. I was also warmed in part because I’ve heard God express favor over me when, after a season of not worshiping in my trouble, I finally worshiped in my trouble. I was moved to think about how much God’s heart was warmed to see His servant Job choose to worship right away without entertaining other options. I was moved that Job knew the heart of God towards people well enough to make that choice, and I was moved that I am learning the same. What do we have that He hasn’t given to us?(I Cor 4:7)
4) I’ll probably never be able to read the book of Job without giving substantial attention to the Why. God Himself bragged on his son Job and his blameless devotion, so being the Only-Does-Good God that He is, who longs to bless and protect His people, why would he give the enemy permission? I’m sure my answer today is incomplete and possibly completely faulty, but it’s my nature to give things the best answer I can with the understanding of God that I currently have. God is completely good. There is no fault in Him. In His conversation with Satan, He said beautiful things about Job. Have you noticed that God often refers to people by their future realities before the manifestation of it in the physical is seen? Think Gideon: hiding from his enemies in the winepress when God calls him a Mighty Warrior. As pleasing as Job was to the Lord, I think it’s fair to assume His life was not yet perfected to carry the fullness of all that God had for him. Job says at the end of the book, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.” It reminds me of Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” Is it possible that the trial Job endured purified the eye of his heart to see? I’ve been taught more than once that “Our Holiness is more important to God than our Happiness.” I held to that one for a long time. It’s not bad. I’m just not convinced it’s entirely accurate. For now, I land here. He knows that our true happiness isn’t possible apart from our Holiness, therefore refining fires must have their season. If we are wise enough to cooperate with His instructions in James 1:2, we will find ourselves mature and complete and able to carry the overflow of blessing in every part of our lives that the Father longs to impart to us.
For the Glory of His Name and the Promotion of His Rule and Authority Here on Planet Earth and in the Realm beyond it.
~Julie
