Navigating Mind Swirl

Personally, I’m always amazed at how much more clearly He speaks than what I remember when there’s been time and space between me and the last conversation on a topic. I suspect it’s at least in part due to the hissing voice slithering in the tree above me that is all too familiar with the King’s heart and tender, watchful eye over His creation. He knows he must approach carefully: one half-truth and one tiny seed of doubt at a time. After all, I’ve spent my mornings walking with the Lord on the paths He paved for us. I know a lot about Him and I’ve tasted His goodness. The enemy knows that the best place to plant his doubt-seeds is in the soil of desires that sometimes vie for my loyalty to the King: those one or two things that I’m not fully convinced I can’t live happily without. I know it in my head; the King is truly all I need and if all of the other dreams must die, then I will not be worse for it because the King has my best in mind.

Yet, my heart wonders. What if He’s not quite enough? What if I’ve misunderstood what He said or what he meant? Might he just leave me to suffer my losses because I’m too stupid to hear and understand? Fear grips me and I wrestle and stir. I lose sleep and my thoughts get jumbled within me. And then His Spirit within reminds me that fear is not His doing, and neither is chaos. His plans really are to prosper me and to give me a hope and a future. And so, I revisit my journal and remember what He said before. I sit with Him until my heart is at peace and I have a direction from Him. He may not answer the question I’ve asked, but He always makes it clear what He wants from me today. And that’s enough.